Is Your Relationship a Private Island?

 A reflection from Carol and Paul ...  Our love affair began with an unofficial motto: “We get to make it up.” That triumphant insight came from the 56 years of life that had flowed under the bridge before we found each other. Marriages, divorces and bereavement had...

Why Relationships Don’t Last?!

Recently we came across an article titled, Divorce Counselor Reveals Reasons Marriages Don’t Last, written on a popular blog website, some of the reasons given were: Love is not enough for a successful marriage. Marriage is a business contract (not a love affair)....

Is your relationship stuck in reverse?

Are you trying to move your relationship forward while putting it in reverse? It doesn’t work when driving a car, and it doesn’t work in relationships either. Most people are unaware of putting their relationship in reverse precisely because it happens automatically...

Transforming Relationships

At Relationship By Design, our work is based on the premise that transformation occurs when you confront reality exactly as it is. Once you stop resisting reality and attempting to fix or improve it, you experience peace, freedom and an opening for creativity in your...
Mathematics

The Mathematics of Relationship

  If you  were to describe a human relationship simply as one person plus another, you would receive little argument from anyone. It's the way people think. The way people ordinarily look at relationships can be described mathematically as 1+1 = 2. Remember the famous...
Grandmother teaching her granddaughter to knit

A Relationship Isn’t a Title

Families can sometimes seem complicated. But the experience of family is really quite simple... and profound. When we were married in 2004, Paul had a stepdaughter by his previous wife, who had died just two years earlier. While I wanted to be a mother to his...

Exploring your relationships: a lifestyle

In all relationships, there is inexorable movement from not knowing to knowing each other more and more. While there is definitely an upside to that movement, there is also a downside. The joy of discovering and learning about each other can begin to fade. Actions and...

Relationship: it’s what really matters

On April 16, 2016 Lon's brother Terry died of cancer. As you can perhaps imagine, it was one of those life events that demonstrate that no matter how prepared you are for something, you are not prepared for it. And yet it turned out to be a wonderful opportunity to...

Putting your relationships first

What has the highest priority in the lives of adult human beings? The survival of what we hold most dear. When someone such as a mate, child or comrade whom we hold dear is threatened, we will sacrifice our life for them. In our years of working in the field of...

Wants and needs in relationships

You are pushing a boulder uphill if you think your significant other is going to anticipate all of your wants and needs and fill them. Do you even know exactly what your wants and needs are? They are ever changing. You live in a FOMO (fear of missing out) world. Your...

The power of commitment

"Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: That the moment one definitely...

Common concerns in relationships

As you begin a new year (which, when you think about it, you do each day), we wish you lots of experiences of freedom, ease and fulfillment in your relationships. During the year you will likely run into issues and concerns from time to time. Many of these concerns...

What Money Workshop participants said

From November 14-20, 2015 we had an outstanding Exploring Extraordinary Relationship workshop in our favorite resort in Los Cabos, Mexico. The topic of this explore was Money in Relationships. Here's what our participants had to say about it! "We saw the possibility...

Money and relationships

We recently completed an extraordinary workshop in Los Cabos, Mexico exploring the mechanisms of money in relationships. It became clear that money is an issue at some time or another in every relationship. No relationship escapes unscathed by concerns about money. In...

Impeccability in Relationships

What is the foundation for relationships? Is it love, affinity, shared values and/or interests? No! Those are the background, not the basis, for relationships. The foundation for relationships is promises. Relationships stand on the promises made with each other....

More great workshop feedback!

Here's what participants said about their experience in our September Extraordinary Relationship: A New Paradigm workshop in Silver Spring, Maryland. “What stood out for us was the ease with which things that have felt remarkably difficult to talk about not only got...

Speaking for the future of your relationships

When you speak about your relationships, do you speak about the past, the present or the future? Think about how you speak; listen to yourself for a while. As you become aware of it, you may be surprised by the extent to which you unconsciously project the past into...

Promises Promises

Why make promises? We have often asserted that, while the context or background for a relationship may be love, or affection, or a common interest, the basis for all relationships is commitment – a promise or set of promises. But while promises may initially be used...

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