Transforming Relationships

At Relationship By Design, our work is based on the premise that transformation occurs when you confront reality exactly as it is. Once you stop resisting reality and attempting to fix or improve it, you experience peace, freedom and an opening for creativity in your...
Mathematics

The Mathematics of Relationship

If you  were to describe a human relationship simply as one person plus another, you would receive little argument from anyone. It's the way people think. The way people ordinarily look at relationships can be described mathematically as 1 + 1. A relationship is one...
Grandmother teaching her granddaughter to knit

A Relationship Isn’t a Title

Families can sometimes seem complicated. But the experience of family is really quite simple... and profound. When we were married in 2004, Paul had a stepdaughter by his previous wife, who had died just two years earlier. While I wanted to be a mother to his...
Young man with binoculars

Your Experience of Relationship

Your experience of relationship is all a matter of where you are standing and looking from. Often we are so intrigued by what we are looking at that we fail to appreciate that what we see is determined by where we are looking from. You will discover more about...
Couple with Money

Relationships and Money

This month we led an Exploring Extraordinary Relationships workshop in Kauai, Hawaii. The topic was Relationships and Money. One of the questions we began with was, “Why is money almost always an issue in relationships, even when there’s no shortage of money?”...
Football breaking through flames

Breaking Through vs. Backing Out

Something beyond the ordinary is possible, and can happen, when you persist through a “down time”. Whether you were pleased with the outcome of the 2017 edition of the NFL Super Bowl or not, you have to acknowledge that the New England Patriots didn’t quit when the...

Is more communication really the key to relationships?

In most of our workshops, people list the lack of communication as the biggest problem in their relationships. But is more communication really the key to relationships? Consider these three aspects to communication: 1) the words being exchanged, 2) the feelings being...

Make your partner’s life great!

In our May newsletter, we said that, as an individual, you cannot help but make a difference in the lives of people around you. Whatever you do or say makes a difference – whether's it's positive or negative. Now we ask you to consider that, while you can stand for...

Is your relationship going your way?

Usually when we talk about relationships, we're talking about intimate or love relationships. Type “relationship” into your favorite search engine and the first hits will be about intimate relationships. But there are many other forms of relationship in our lives. We...

Mastering the art of relationship

For over ten years, we have been struggling with the dilemma of expressing what we are up to without it getting placed in the box of fixing, improving or recovering relationships. During our most recent workshop, in the San Francisco area, Carol and Jeff England, one...

Do your relationships have a purpose?

People who discover or invent a purpose for their lives experience direction, power and satisfaction in ways that people without a purpose seldom experience as they aimlessly go through the motions of living, dealing with whatever life gives them. Having a reason to...

Great results from post-workshop coaching

The post-workshop video conference calls that we recently began including as a part of each of our Relationship: the Real Deal workshops have proved to be more than worthwhile, as reported by Carol Herndon and Paul Bennett, who facilitated the calls after leading the...

Introducing … RelationshipByDesign

Even though we are introducing a new name and appearance on our website, we have been around for quite a while now. We began in 2003 as FamiliesByDesign and evolved a few years later into Relationship&FamiliesByDesign. Now we are moving into a new era, and the name...

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