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CONNECTED - February 2015

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Promises in Relationships

The foundation for relationships is promises. It is not love, affinity, shared values and/or interests. Those are the background space for relationships. It is promises that relationships stand on. It is promises that determine the form of a relationship. And it is making and fulfilling promises that sustains a relationship.

Given the importance of promising in relationships, we continue to give it lots of thought. We invite you to consider our most recent notion regarding promising, and see if it provides freedom and power in your relationships.

You cannot authentically promise a result. What you can authentically promise is action(s).

In a relationship, you might promise to do something at or by a particular time. And while your actions are intended to, and likely will, produce a particular desired result at that particular time, that result is not, and cannot be, assured. That is the way it is in games- including the game of life.

A particular desired result can be subject to many things that can happen to preclude that result. However, very little can stop you from doing what you promise to do. For instance, you can fulfill a promise to call someone at/by a particular time, even though you cannot assure reaching the person. And, while you cannot assure that you will have a book written by a particular time, you can make and fulfill a promise to write for specified amounts of time (with the intention to have the book done by that time).

None of this justifies not being responsible and accountable for results. In fact it may allow you to be more responsible for your actions and the results they produce.

We invite your comments, questions and insights regarding this way of viewing promises.

Sandy&Lon
(760)603-8343

Kirsten and Grant wedding promise
Our daughter Kirsten making promises with her husband, Grant

Relationships Renewed

It's more fun to have and enjoy something new than it is to have something old, repaired or used up. That's especially true for relationships. It's why we believe in creating relationships anew rather than fixing and saving relationships.

To create a new relationship with your current partner - romantic, family, business, etc. - you must let go of your attachment to the past (good, bad or indifferent) and partner up in creating the future.

In our experience, the most effective way of letting go of the past is to communicate all withholds and to forgive. And the most effective way of creating the future is to design and "play" games. Forgiveness produces a new environment or space for the future, and playing games that you create and design together fulfills the future.

Our game is assisting you in creating powerful and fulfilling relationships. We are at your service. Call us!

Sandy&Lon
(760)603-8343

"A life directed chiefly toward the fulfillment of personal desires sooner or later always leads to bitter disappointment." - Albert Einstein

Sandy and Lon Golnick
RelationshipByDesign
760.603.8343