In our last newsletter we suggested that our lives would be more fun and fulfilling if we were to stop working so hard at changing our partners, ourselves and our surroundings in the futile attempt to satisfy expectations and assumptions that are rooted in the fantasy of "having it all", all the time, everywhere, with everyone, forever.
Are you constantly scheduling more activities and gathering more stuff but it's never enough to satisfy you? Consider that activities and stuff won't help you attain the unattainable fantasy. In attempting to achieve the unachievable you're destined to fail!
You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy.
- Eric Hoffer
Perhaps you start looking or going outside of the relationship in an attempt to obtain that illusive satisfaction. Or perhaps you simply exit the relationship.
We may look elsewhere because what's missing is the expression of acknowledgment and appreciation for what we do have with our partners. As we look for more, we don't recognize and value what our partners provide in our lives. Experiencing and expressing gratitude may be all that's missing.
As we approach the day dedicated to thanksgiving, take some time to express your gratitude not only for what your partner and you have been blessed with, but also for the gift that your partner is for you.
We thank all of you for being our partners in transforming relationships all over the world.
Gratefully and appreciatively,
Sandy and Lon
More about relationships
In addition to expressions of appreciation and gratitude, we have found that dreaming together is also often missing in relationships.
Dreaming together comes naturally in the early stages of relationships. Relationships, including business partnerships, often begin as a dream. When dreaming together ceases, as it probably will, one of the joys of being together disappears.
Maybe you stopped dreaming together because you couldn't see how your dreams could possibly be fulfilled.
However, the purpose of dreaming together is not to fulfill those dreams. Dreams cannot be fulfilled! They are too fuzzy, fluid and fleeting to be fulfillable. But you could create intentions from your dream and fulfill those intentions. Intentions exist in the world of accomplishment, as distinct from the world of dreaming.
The purpose of dreaming together is to have and enjoy the experience, just like the purpose of holding hands is to have and enjoy that experience!
Keeping the worlds of dreaming and accomplishing distinct from each other, and being at ease and facile together in both, allows for an immense amount of joy and satisfaction in your relationships.
With our best wishes for you,
Sandy and Lon
Sandy and Lon Golnick