Transforming Relationships

At Relationship By Design, our work is based on the premise that transformation occurs when you confront reality exactly as it is. Once you stop resisting reality and attempting to fix or improve it, you experience peace, freedom and an opening for creativity in your...
Mathematics

The Mathematics of Relationship

If you  were to describe a human relationship simply as one person plus another, you would receive little argument from anyone. It's the way people think. The way people ordinarily look at relationships can be described mathematically as 1 + 1. A relationship is one...
Grandmother teaching her granddaughter to knit

A Relationship Isn’t a Title

Families can sometimes seem complicated. But the experience of family is really quite simple... and profound. When we were married in 2004, Paul had a stepdaughter by his previous wife, who had died just two years earlier. While I wanted to be a mother to his...
Young man with binoculars

Your Experience of Relationship

Your experience of relationship is all a matter of where you are standing and looking from. Often we are so intrigued by what we are looking at that we fail to appreciate that what we see is determined by where we are looking from. You will discover more about...
Couple with Money

Relationships and Money

This month we led an Exploring Extraordinary Relationships workshop in Kauai, Hawaii. The topic was Relationships and Money. One of the questions we began with was, “Why is money almost always an issue in relationships, even when there’s no shortage of money?”...
Football breaking through flames

Breaking Through vs. Backing Out

Something beyond the ordinary is possible, and can happen, when you persist through a “down time”. Whether you were pleased with the outcome of the 2017 edition of the NFL Super Bowl or not, you have to acknowledge that the New England Patriots didn’t quit when the...

Transforming Relationships

At Relationship By Design, our work is based on the premise that transformation occurs when you confront reality exactly as it is. Once you stop resisting reality and attempting to fix or improve it, you experience peace, freedom and an opening for creativity in your...

The Mathematics of Relationship

If you  were to describe a human relationship simply as one person plus another, you would receive little argument from anyone. It's the way people think. The way people ordinarily look at relationships can be described mathematically as 1 + 1. A relationship is one...

A Relationship Isn’t a Title

Families can sometimes seem complicated. But the experience of family is really quite simple... and profound. When we were married in 2004, Paul had a stepdaughter by his previous wife, who had died just two years earlier. While I wanted to be a mother to his...

Your Experience of Relationship

Your experience of relationship is all a matter of where you are standing and looking from. Often we are so intrigued by what we are looking at that we fail to appreciate that what we see is determined by where we are looking from. You will discover more about...

Relationships and Money

This month we led an Exploring Extraordinary Relationships workshop in Kauai, Hawaii. The topic was Relationships and Money. One of the questions we began with was, “Why is money almost always an issue in relationships, even when there’s no shortage of money?”...

Breaking Through vs. Backing Out

Something beyond the ordinary is possible, and can happen, when you persist through a “down time”. Whether you were pleased with the outcome of the 2017 edition of the NFL Super Bowl or not, you have to acknowledge that the New England Patriots didn’t quit when the...

Myth #1: Relationship is a feeling

What happens when you feel lonely in your relationship? Carol felt lonely last week. Paul was in his home office; Carol was in her home office. Neither of us was hurt, or angry, or upset with the other. We had been focused on the world outside, working together  to...

Myth #2: Relationships are what you do

How many times have you heard someone say, “We’re working on our relationship”? Have you said something like that yourself? Many people think work is required when they notice an emotion in their relationship that they don’t like, as Carol did when she woke up feeling...

Relationships: A rough road?

You may be having a rough ride down a road. But it doesn’t matter how many potholes you fix if you are riding on square wheels. The road of relationships may not be as rough as you think. In fact the road might be quite nicely paved. But that doesn’t matter if you...

Then what (in your relationship)?

As you begin to see and let go of the source of the problems in your relationship  that you have unconsciously been holding onto [the rough ride on the road of your relationship], you can begin to consider creating a relationship together that’s in sync with the...

Extraordinary relationships

We just finished leading two Extraordinary Relationships: A New Paradigm workshops - one in Denver and one in the San Francisco area. The workshops were exciting and enlivening in that the more we discovered as we engaged in exploring and designing a paradigm for...

Vive la difference

One of Lon's favorite memories is our wedding, over 53 years ago, because it was one of his crowning achievements. Having been a relatively introverted, conservative and quiet young engineering student, he was proud to have "captured" an outgoing, expressive and...

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