“You Are SO Exasperating!”

Do you ever find yourself really exasperated in a relationship—at home or at work? What do you think produces that exasperation? You know that you don’t cause it, because you really don’t like being exasperated. You would never be exasperated if it were up to you. So...

What Legacies Are Your Relationships Leaving in Their Wake?

Eventually, most people give some thought to the inheritance they’ll leave when they die: the money, property, possessions. Maybe you’ve thought about how you, as an individual, want to be remembered when you’re gone—an intangible legacy that you’ll leave with others....

Is Your Relationship a Private Island?

 A reflection from Carol and Paul ...  Our love affair began with an unofficial motto: “We get to make it up.” That triumphant insight came from the 56 years of life that had flowed under the bridge before we found each other. Marriages, divorces and bereavement had...

Why Relationships Don’t Last?!

Recently we came across an article titled, Divorce Counselor Reveals Reasons Marriages Don’t Last, written on a popular blog website, some of the reasons given were: Love is not enough for a successful marriage. Marriage is a business contract (not a love affair)....

Is your relationship stuck in reverse?

Are you trying to move your relationship forward while putting it in reverse? It doesn’t work when driving a car, and it doesn’t work in relationships either. Most people are unaware of putting their relationship in reverse precisely because it happens automatically...

Transforming Relationships

At Relationship By Design, our work is based on the premise that transformation occurs when you confront reality exactly as it is. Once you stop resisting reality and attempting to fix or improve it, you experience peace, freedom and an opening for creativity in your...

“You Are SO Exasperating!”

Do you ever find yourself really exasperated in a relationship—at home or at work? What do you think produces that exasperation? You know that you don’t cause it, because you really don’t like being exasperated. You would never be exasperated if it were up to you. So...

What Legacies Are Your Relationships Leaving in Their Wake?

Eventually, most people give some thought to the inheritance they’ll leave when they die: the money, property, possessions. Maybe you’ve thought about how you, as an individual, want to be remembered when you’re gone—an intangible legacy that you’ll leave with others....

Is Your Relationship a Private Island?

 A reflection from Carol and Paul ...  Our love affair began with an unofficial motto: “We get to make it up.” That triumphant insight came from the 56 years of life that had flowed under the bridge before we found each other. Marriages, divorces and bereavement had...

Why Relationships Don’t Last?!

Recently we came across an article titled, Divorce Counselor Reveals Reasons Marriages Don’t Last, written on a popular blog website, some of the reasons given were: Love is not enough for a successful marriage. Marriage is a business contract (not a love affair)....

Is your relationship stuck in reverse?

Are you trying to move your relationship forward while putting it in reverse? It doesn’t work when driving a car, and it doesn’t work in relationships either. Most people are unaware of putting their relationship in reverse precisely because it happens automatically...

Transforming Relationships

At Relationship By Design, our work is based on the premise that transformation occurs when you confront reality exactly as it is. Once you stop resisting reality and attempting to fix or improve it, you experience peace, freedom and an opening for creativity in your...

The Mathematics of Relationship

  If you  were to describe a human relationship simply as one person plus another, you would receive little argument from anyone. It's the way people think. The way people ordinarily look at relationships can be described mathematically as 1+1 = 2. Remember the famous...

A Relationship Isn’t a Title

Families can sometimes seem complicated. But the experience of family is really quite simple... and profound. When we were married in 2004, Paul had a stepdaughter by his previous wife, who had died just two years earlier. While I wanted to be a mother to his...

Your Experience of Relationship

Your experience of relationship is all a matter of where you are standing and looking from. Often we are so intrigued by what we are looking at that we fail to appreciate that what we see is determined by where we are looking from. You will discover more about...

Relationships and Money

This month we led an Exploring Extraordinary Relationships workshop in Kauai, Hawaii. The topic was Relationships and Money. One of the questions we began with was, “Why is money almost always an issue in relationships, even when there’s no shortage of money?”...

Breaking Through vs. Backing Out

Something beyond the ordinary is possible, and can happen, when you persist through a “down time”. Whether you were pleased with the outcome of the 2017 edition of the NFL Super Bowl or not, you have to acknowledge that the New England Patriots didn’t quit when the...

Myth #1: Relationship is a feeling

What happens when you feel lonely in your relationship? Carol felt lonely last week. Paul was in his home office; Carol was in her home office. Neither of us was hurt, or angry, or upset with the other. We had been focused on the world outside, working together  to...

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