Is the purpose of your relationship to have someone who will provide you with some of what you need and want in life, and to help you get from others the rest of what you need and want? This is a common default purpose for being in a relationship. It’s quite ordinary and is often adopted without giving it much thought.
“True happiness…is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” Helen Keller
It’s relatively easy to claim or create a purpose for an individual or for a group or organization. And we often do associate purposes with individuals or groups and organizations.
It seems less normal to associate a purpose with a relationship, or to claim or create a purpose for a relationship.
“The purpose of relationships is not happiness, but transformation.” Andrew Schneider
Whether you have a clear concept of transformation or not, the statement calls for considering that the purpose of relationships could be something other than – or at least something in addition to – satisfying personal wants!
However, creating a purpose (beyond the default purpose) for your relationship, and engaging in fulfilling that purpose, may allow for new discoveries about yourselves as a relationship. It may provide you with a new experience of being related. And it may also enhance your experience of making a difference in your world.
Last weekend, in our Extraordinary Relationships: A New Paradigm workshop here in San Diego, two couples created purposes for their relationships.
Joe & Jen: To create opportunities for people to thrive.
Laura & Rich: To honor WE with ease, adventure and contribution.