Recently we came across an article titled, Divorce Counselor Reveals Reasons Marriages Don’t Last, written on a popular blog website, some of the reasons given were:
- Love is not enough for a successful marriage.
- Marriage is a business contract (not a love affair).
- Women and Men are still not regarded as equals.
There never has been a shortage of reasons why things fail, including marriage. Why? Because all reasons are made up to fit one’s particular point of view, and each individual has a unique point of view about pretty much everything, especially what a relationship is and why it doesn’t last!
And yet, all of the reasons, and all of the tips and fixes that people have come up with in response to those reasons, have not made a significant difference in the rate of failed marriages.
It appears to us that there’s a major reason missing. It’s a reason that we say hasn’t been distinguished … and it doesn’t carry any hint of blame for a marriage not lasting.
That reason is there is no one definition on what a relationship actually is. In fact, in over 70,000 books available on Amazon on the subject of relationship, we have yet to find one that asks the question, “What is a relationship?”
We theorize no one is asking this question because we all assume we know already. And we all know what assuming gets us 😉
How can anyone be expected to make a marriage or relationship last when they don’t know what it REALLY is? How can anyone be expected to make something work when they don’t know what they’re working on? Or they are both working on different things because they have different definitions of the same relationship?
Our definitions for marriage and relationship are often shaped by our past (what we saw and were exposed to growing up) or what we have seen in movies, books, and the latest celebrity news …. No wonder we’re confused!!
Take a look for yourself. Get out a piece of paper and without overthinking it write down your definition of “What is a relationship?”
Then invite your partner to do the same … don’t let them read yours just yet.
Once you both have your definition written down compare notes … Be careful, don’t get too serious here. Notice what’s similar, what’s different?
We would LOVE to hear what you discover. Share with us on our Facebook page or feel free to PM us!