What do you think produces that exasperation?
You know that you don’t cause it, because you really don’t like being exasperated. You would never be exasperated if it were up to you. So it must be the other person – or something else in the relationship – that’s annoying you so much.
Obviously, it’s not the mere existence of the other person – or of something else – that’s making you exasperated. It’s what you see the other person doing or what you see happening in the relationship that’s bugging you.
But what you see happening is determined by your position, by where you are looking at it from.
Your position or viewpoint is crucial. For example, if you are standing off to the side of an airplane’s flight path, the airplane may appear to gain altitude gradually as it crosses the sky. However, if you are standing under the flight path, the airplane appears to be going straight up! Another example is that whether you will see a crawling insect moving toward you or moving away from you depends on where you are standing, on where you place yourself, in relation to the insect.
In the same way, it’s where you position yourself in the relationship that is determining what you see happening as exasperating or not.
When you let go of your attachment to your position and get interested in the other person’s point-of-view—maybe even adopt it for yourself—a lot of what’s bugging you dissolves, leaving you with less exasperation and more understanding, appreciation and love.
Best wishes from
Lon & Sandy